Top, bottom, vers and side: what they mean in gay sex

It’s the question on every app profile and the first thing some guys ask after “hey”. Here’s what each label actually means, and why it’s fine if yours changes.

What each label means

• Top: the insertive partner in anal sex, the one doing the fucking. At a clinic, this is “insertive”.
• Bottom: the receptive partner, the one getting fucked. At a clinic, this is “receptive”.
• Vers (versatile): happy to top or bottom. Many vers guys lean one way, which is where vers top and vers bottom come in on profiles: versatile, but usually prefers that side.
• Side: doesn’t do anal, or doesn’t want it, and enjoys everything else: oral, rimming, frotting, jerking off, toys, kink. Therapist Joe Kort coined the term in a 2013 Huffington Post article.

Power bottom and service top are popular spins. A power bottom bottoms but runs the show. A service top tops for his partner’s pleasure first. Neither label is about who’s in charge in the rest of the relationship.

How many guys are tops, bottoms or vers?

It depends on the study, and the numbers move around a lot.

So the “everyone’s a bottom” joke doesn’t really hold up. In most studies, vers is the biggest group.

Labels and what guys actually do don’t always match. In Moskowitz and Hart’s 2011 study, about half the men who called themselves vers mostly took one role in practice. A 2003 study by Trevor Hart and colleagues found that labels loosely predicted what men did, with a lot of overlap between groups.

Sides are common too. Grindr cites a 2011 survey of 25,000 men in which only 35% had anal sex the last time they hooked up. Plenty of great sex never involves anyone getting fucked.

How to talk about roles with a partner

• Ask early and plainly: “Top, bottom or vers?” is normal on apps. In person, “what are you into?” does the job.
• Say what you mean by your label: “vers but mostly bottom”, “top, open to flipping with the right guy”, “side, love oral”. It saves both of you a wasted trip.
• Expect it to change: mood, partner, how long since you douched, who’s hotter. It’s normal to top one guy and bottom the next.
• Don’t read a role off a body: height, muscles and a deep voice don’t tell you who tops. Ask.

What your role means for sexual health

Both roles can pass and pick up STIs, but the risks aren’t the same.

• Bottoms: the CDC says receptive anal sex carries the highest HIV risk of any sex act. PrEP closes that gap, and a rectal swab catches chlamydia and gonorrhea a pee test misses.
• Tops: topping carries lower risk than bottoming but not zero. A urine test covers your dick, and a throat swab covers oral.
• Vers: you need both. Ask for a urine test plus throat and rectal swabs.
• Sides: oral and rimming can still pass syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia, so regular tests still make sense.

The CDC suggests sexually active gay and bi men test at least once a year, and every 3 to 6 months with new or several partners.

Frequently asked questions

What does vers mean?
Versatile: you enjoy both topping and bottoming.

What’s a vers top or vers bottom?
A vers guy who leans one way. A vers top usually tops but is open to bottoming, and a vers bottom is the reverse.

What does side mean in gay terms?
A guy who doesn’t do anal and enjoys other kinds of sex instead. Joe Kort coined the term in 2013.

What is a power bottom?
A bottom who takes control during sex, setting the pace and calling the shots.

Are most gay men bottoms?
No. In most studies, vers is the biggest group, and the split between tops and bottoms changes from study to study.

Can you be a top and a bottom?
Yes. That’s vers, and lots of guys switch depending on the partner or the night.

Sources: UCSB SexInfo: Topping and bottoming, what’s in a label?, Moskowitz and Hart, Archives of Sexual Behavior, 2011, Hart and colleagues, “Sexual behavior among HIV-positive men who have sex with men: what’s in a label?”, Journal of Sex Research, 2003, Joe Kort: Side guys, Grindr: Are you a side?, CDC STI Treatment Guidelines: Men who have sex with men, CDC: HIV risk behaviors.